So we were already going out for a while and it was time to tell the parents. It wasn’t as easy to meet his parents as it was mine. His parents love in a different country so we kind of met over a video call. There was also the language barrier. Since I didn’t speak their language and they couldn’t speak English. We talked with my partner translating both for me and his parents. I thought it went quite well. They were smiling and laughing and looked happy so as I saw it they didn’t mind.
When I told my parents it didn’t quite go that way. There was tears from my mum and a lecture from my dad. I knew they wouldn’t take it well so I had prepared my self for that. However what I did not prepare for was my parents doubting he loved me for me. They couldn’t understand that we liked each other and that we were happy. For them he had to have some kind of second intentions for wanting to be with me. He needed papers so he could stay in the country (even though we are both from europe) or he wanted to toy with me and throw me out when he was bored. That really did hurt my feelings because to me it seemed like they thought I wasn’t good enough for someone to love me. I love my parents but in that moment I just didn’t know how to react. All they kept telling me was “you need to break up with him”, “we don’t want you together”… those kind of things.
I was really disappointed that they couldn’t just be happy for me to just for this once support my decision and trust me that I had done the right thing for me.
I told my partner about what had happened when I told my parents. How they couldn’t believe that he could just like me for me and not have secondary intentions. How they asked me to leave him because he wasn’t right for me even though they hadn’t met him and didn’t actually know him. My partner then told me that his parents had told him the same thing. He just hadn’t said anything to me so I wouldn’t be upset. I couldn’t believe it. Why couldn’t our parents just accept the fact that we were happy together? I asked why his parents said that we shouldn’t be together, he told me that they didn’t want us together because I was not from his home country and I wasn’t what they expected for him. They told him he needed to dump me because if he didn’t then he would be disappointed all through his life because he had chosen me knowing he could have done better. Those words got at me. I could understand where they were coming from, I would never be the daughter in law that they wanted because we couldn’t talk to each other like usual but telling him to dump me like I was a piece of trash or a stone in their shoe that bothered them all day.
I grew further apart from my parents every time we spoke because everytime I saw them all they did was put me down. Telling me the same thing everytime I saw them. “Have you broken up yet? Why are you still with him? When are you going to end this?” Like I said before I do love my parents but things like these weare you out and after a while you have enough and you avoid talking to them or avoiding visiting as much.
We stayed together despite all the hate from everyone. We loved each other and for as long as we did we would be together.